Family Drama in Autumn

I feel abandoned, alienated and unsupported. I don't complain nor ask for emotional comfort. It is something that is very difficult for me to gauge, accept or process. It always feels abusive, as if I'm using my pain to draw others' attention. Therapy that has always worked has been distracting myself long enough for the pain to subside, writing about it, or a mix of both. Me breaking down in front of others is scary and pathetic. However, unless I start moving towards that direction, I'll always be afraid of it.