Not Bored, But Scared.
What the hell, my mind keeps slipping away to fantasy games and character builds. I'm so tired of it, because it naturally goes there, but I don't have the time nor the inclination to pursue it outside of work.
What's the point then? I'm just escaping this crap.
It merely occurs while I'm working, as a kind of "try to get away" feeling. A constant lure, because I don't want to face work itself.
But that is odd, because there's a part of me that appreciates the work when I am engaged with it. It seems that by working, I feel insecure because I start becoming all too aware of how distant I am, and how late and how ineffective.
I might not be running away from boredom, but from fear. Yet, by giving in to that fear, I only make it more powerful.
I must persevere through the discomfort.
What's the point then? I'm just escaping this crap.
It merely occurs while I'm working, as a kind of "try to get away" feeling. A constant lure, because I don't want to face work itself.
But that is odd, because there's a part of me that appreciates the work when I am engaged with it. It seems that by working, I feel insecure because I start becoming all too aware of how distant I am, and how late and how ineffective.
I might not be running away from boredom, but from fear. Yet, by giving in to that fear, I only make it more powerful.
I must persevere through the discomfort.