2015, March Under Review
I am out of balance. I'm coasting at work, and this will surely bleed into other aspects of my life, impacting everything. These past few days have been nothing but intense, and now the toll is being paid. I need to adjust some aspects, in order to bring balance back. After the break, lists.
My current experience at work:
Current main problem: lack of sleep. Previous lifestyle (before bike, before relationship) had everything accounted for, and as such sleep was under control. Now that changes have been happening, the necessary counter adjustments have been missing.
What to admit:
Moving forward:
Boiled down, this means:
In conclusion: I need to find quicker ways to achieve relaxed levels. This sounds like a paradox: I'm pressuring myself to relax. But actually it's about being smart to ensure things are harmonized, so I can be as productive as possible at work, while enjoying a more carefree time outside of it.
Let's juggle some balls, quietly.
My current experience at work:
- wake up late, constantly
- arrive already tired at work
- motivation is harder and harder to find
- prone to tunnel vision
- overall feeling/fear of things developing on the periphery, without my hand on it, thus potentially becoming issues/surprises further ahead
Current main problem: lack of sleep. Previous lifestyle (before bike, before relationship) had everything accounted for, and as such sleep was under control. Now that changes have been happening, the necessary counter adjustments have been missing.
What to admit:
- the relationship puts in demand for time and energy
- this demand hasn't been properly identified and defined, and as such it is adding up to the previous tally of commitments, and taking the strain to a point higher than sustainable
- the bike: even though it potentially reduces commuting time and increases schedule flexibility, it does bring in added worry, responsibility and overhead maintenance
Moving forward:
- Acknowledge the relationship has a price in terms of energy. Sacrifice something out to have more energy available.
- Cut back in exercise: need to be careful here, exercise has to exist in some form. Save it for the stretches of quietude in Oxford, but admit that it's going to get slower and act as maintenance only.
- Cut back in going out: need to be smarter about this, and only go out if there's no work on the day after. Going out and then having to work is too much of a strain. Builds up exhaustion fast. Account for exceptions ahead of time.
- Enforce a more strict work schedule: being late has to stop, because I'm spending too much energy worrying about catching up. This energy expenditure has to be front loaded, by being proactive. If I manage to have my business under control, I get more peace of mind.
- Acknowledge the bike puts a bigger strain than public transportation. Even though it makes for a more pleasurable commuting experience, and provides more freedom, it does build up stress.
- Need to keep focusing on improving. Higher confidence on the road leads to less stress. This has no way to be optimized, other than keep riding as much as I can.
Boiled down, this means:
- There's a catch-up task to be done at work. This will place me in a proactive position, and stress levels will be reduced.
- The relationship will have to work in tandem with my personal hobbies, with each taking its turn. Acknowledge that nothing will be at the ideal level, but work will be done to have most things in good standing, while completely cutting off the things where the time invested doesn't provide the optimal return (like gaming, watching TV shows).
- Ensure my schedule is under control, so I can ride with a quiet mind, and learn the road quicker.
In conclusion: I need to find quicker ways to achieve relaxed levels. This sounds like a paradox: I'm pressuring myself to relax. But actually it's about being smart to ensure things are harmonized, so I can be as productive as possible at work, while enjoying a more carefree time outside of it.
Let's juggle some balls, quietly.