shot of joy to lovers about to fly, 17.04.2019

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I sit in a plane with Portugal ahead and you behind. I try to draw a smile, but the lines come in faint, the teeth don't really show, the eyes don't really shine. The longing has come to roost and it weighs my features down, slows my steps, lowers my shoulders. Then... I look only but a little deeper and already I can see the golden glow. The memory of your slightly-embarrassed-but-not-really smile, your laughter rolling under me as I hover over you in bed, the touch of your hair in my skin, your taste and your scent and your warmth. Your head in my shoulder. Fuck, it's a difficult Thing to snap out of. It's a price I gladly pay. There's a little sadness to my eyes, but the smile now is genuine. It's the best pain to have.

tenho saudades tuas