words as photographs

thinking about it some more, my mind likes the puzzle the game places - how to build a concept of a character that works. that in itself is a lot of fun, just the working of the concept. where the fault lies is when I conflate who I am with the character I'm building as if it is an extension of me, and it must be, for whatever reason, be authentic, even if no circumstance demands it. the game is a place for expression of different ideas, and I think I bore myself every time I approach it trying to make it as authentic as possible, since the only way to do it is by keeping very vague. otherwise, how can I represent the multitude of my moods and preferences so variable over time inside a single hard and static concept?

when idle, my mind keeps returning to Pillars of Eternity and how I should build my character, even though it is the world that builds characters. it is what happens to me that shapes me and not some arbitrary point when I make a decision and I'm perfectly trained in something I've never done. I keep having life experiences and going back to this game to frame them in a character build that makes sense - if I'm being regular at the gym, that means I must be a fighter. if I'm being lazy, that means I must be a rogue. if I'm to lead my team, that means I must be a chanter or a priest or a paladin.  what is this? why am I doing this?  am I trying to find a way to frame myself inside a structure? why have I set pillars as the structure to be? it's not the richest. it is flexible. it does allow imagination to play with logic. as entertainment, it is entertaining. but is it too much of a distraction? or should the question be harnessed more productively? is the struct...