a little on pillars

when idle, my mind keeps returning to Pillars of Eternity and how I should build my character, even though it is the world that builds characters. it is what happens to me that shapes me and not some arbitrary point when I make a decision and I'm perfectly trained in something I've never done. I keep having life experiences and going back to this game to frame them in a character build that makes sense - if I'm being regular at the gym, that means I must be a fighter. if I'm being lazy, that means I must be a rogue. if I'm to lead my team, that means I must be a chanter or a priest or a paladin. 

what is this? why am I doing this? 

am I trying to find a way to frame myself inside a structure? why have I set pillars as the structure to be? it's not the richest. it is flexible. it does allow imagination to play with logic. as entertainment, it is entertaining. but is it too much of a distraction? or should the question be harnessed more productively? is the structure I'm looking for going to tell me what am I going to do next? or is this all so I feel less adrift?

the game itself is not very good while being played. most variables that can be affected are only useful for combat, and combat is very confusing and not very rewarding. it is giving a new coat of paint to a very outdated system - and while that was fun then, I have changed enough I don't have the patience for it any more.