To Be Proactive in April 2016

Be Proactive: Being proactive means that you take responsibility for your life and you don’t blame others for what ‘doesn’t’ happen. Proactive people are responsible, choose their behaviour and are less affected by the environment around them. This is because, between the stimulus and response you have the power and freedom to choose the response. However, one of the most important choices you make every day is the ‘language’ you choose to use. Language is an indicator of how you perceive yourself. Proactive people use proactive language; I can, I will, I prefer etc. (reactive people say I can’t). Proactive people focus their energy on things they can control, and do something about those things. Reactive people, on the other hand, focus their energy on things they have little control over. Therefore, being aware of where you expend your energy is critical to being effective.

Read in Quora. Post by Gerard Danford.

Sickness and old age in a man, bringing him low and out of control. Dragging his daughter down. My mother.

I have seen my grandfather. He's not well.

I don't know what to write about. This shows how spread apart and off the track my mind is. This month has been exhausting. Having to go back home in Portugal to help my mother take care of my grandfather, while juggling work from home... It's not sustainable.

Portugal. Still small. Still petty. Still slow. Every day my mind gets slower and slower. The lack of stimuli and the distancing of what is now my normal life 

makes me feel trapped.

I function on momentum. The more I do, the more I can do.

So here I am, completely adrift, rolling with the punches. Helping out by being present. But... How the hell can I be proactive when everything feels fluid and unstable? When the next thing I can do is unknowable?

I guess the only action is no action. To be strong and still.

Fuck.