The Flow Today

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11:49

  1. I want to get distracted because I'm chewing through my stack of emails and when I look at those that remind me I have shit to do, I get a bad feeling of anxiety.
  2. I want to do anything other than work. Maybe check up on Social Media.
  3. This is a bad idea because I'm exchanging true anxiety for delayed anxiety. I.e., checking social media won't make me feel anxious, but arriving at the end of the day will make me feel terrible.

11:57

  1. I want to get distracted because my work management software is fucking slow.
  2. I want to immediately go online and get distracted, since I have no patience.
  3. This is a bad idea because the application will open in the background while I get distracted for much longer than necessary.
12:03
  1. I just finished my first task, catching up on my emails.
  2. I noticed I have work the customer is chasing on (bad). I also have training this afternoon, which will take away from the time necessary to follow up on my work.
  3. I'm going to start cracking the next task immediately.

14:14
  1. I procrastinated in Facebook instead of picking up the new task. I had lunch. When I came back, I did my language lesson, but I have since been getting lost with Instagram, the death of Kobe and Abbath on tour. 
  2. I want to keep getting distracted, because it's hard to get back to work.
  3. This is a bad idea, because work keeps piling up.

14:32
  • Been procrastinating. Couldn't resist. Forcing myself back to work.

14:51
  • I just remembered something while working: it might help, every time I start to get distracted, what kind of professional I want to be regardless of circumstance. What is my professional panache? Who am I, and who do I want to be and how can I bring those two together?

 14:57
  • Each achieved step adds anxiety.

 16:26
  1. Finished the call, decided to reward myself with a lot of procrastination (around 90 minutes). 
  2. I build up anxiety as I go, and once the task is complete, I spend a lot of time going back to base level. I need a smoother way to move between tasks. Just carry on? Have a walk around? Something physical. Eat? Look at the sky? Write on paper? What?

 16:40
  • Still frozen, trying to get back to work. There's a lot of background noise. I keep looking for something pleasurable that "floats" my mood upward while I work.

 17:01
  • It's a non-starter. It's just better to start working and keep working. And not search for any sweeteners. Just do things.
  • What do I do? What's my work? My job is to get motivated enough to keep my position for long enough to keep the money coming in.