Catching Up During The Christmas Week
I missed the last two days I was supposed to write here. What happened?
I feel the typical thing happened. I start to get results and instead of doubling down and keep being successful at them, I start to lose focus and do things that bring me back closer to where I were. Almost as if mediocrity is this gravitational centre in my life that I keep feeling dragged back into.
It's actually not like that.
I keep recognising progress. But I am tackling, as per usual, too many fronts at once. In some of them I eventually lose ground due to lack of energy to sustain so much effort. But overall I feel I keep growing or expanding.
It also didn't help that I had to fly home. It really throws me off, and caused me to make lots of packing mistakes. It doesn't feel like the dust has settled. in one week we'll be celebrating NYE, and from there flying off to Miami for one more edition of 70K.
So I have this nervous energy about me. There's too much to do, not enough time to do it well, and I don't feel that comfortable or hopeful where I am. My mother's place, my home town, it always feels depressing to me. Not completely, I have good friends and good moments here. But there's always this sad undercurrent bringing my mood down.
I have a lot of work ahead of me. I'll try to be judicious and proactive about it in these short weeks. The timing is perfect to put my call stack in neat condition and enjoy my holidays completely relaxed.
I do eager to step into the next phase of my life. When Anna and I live together and I feel rooted enough I can pursue a new professional path. One that brings me closer to a workgroup I can engage with daily and do good work with.
I feel the typical thing happened. I start to get results and instead of doubling down and keep being successful at them, I start to lose focus and do things that bring me back closer to where I were. Almost as if mediocrity is this gravitational centre in my life that I keep feeling dragged back into.
It's actually not like that.
I keep recognising progress. But I am tackling, as per usual, too many fronts at once. In some of them I eventually lose ground due to lack of energy to sustain so much effort. But overall I feel I keep growing or expanding.
It also didn't help that I had to fly home. It really throws me off, and caused me to make lots of packing mistakes. It doesn't feel like the dust has settled. in one week we'll be celebrating NYE, and from there flying off to Miami for one more edition of 70K.
So I have this nervous energy about me. There's too much to do, not enough time to do it well, and I don't feel that comfortable or hopeful where I am. My mother's place, my home town, it always feels depressing to me. Not completely, I have good friends and good moments here. But there's always this sad undercurrent bringing my mood down.
I have a lot of work ahead of me. I'll try to be judicious and proactive about it in these short weeks. The timing is perfect to put my call stack in neat condition and enjoy my holidays completely relaxed.
I do eager to step into the next phase of my life. When Anna and I live together and I feel rooted enough I can pursue a new professional path. One that brings me closer to a workgroup I can engage with daily and do good work with.