Thoughts 09-Oct-2023

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Starting my work day at a coffee shop does not work. I associate the place with relaxation, and work requires a place that is both a little tense and a little sad, to get me in the right mood.

I want to feel connected to a point. Or have the feeling I can be. If I close off my browser and have only the work session in my computer, then I feel cut off from the world, which is bad. On the other hand I have to be careful, because having the browser turned on allows me to wander online and get lost.

I want to concentrate at work like I concentrate at a game I am interested in playing. This is impossible. I would drop a game that:
  • wouldn't work consistently (crashes, performance issues, etc.)
  • constantly slowed down.
  • had unclear goals.
  • in which I did not care for other players.

Therefore wanting to concentrate at work at the same level I do for a game is unreasonable, as the things that would make me drop a game are very present in my work day.

A much more worthwhile goal: I feel engaged with the work, despite the struggle. I arrive at the end of the day, and I am happy with my effort if not with my results.

What do I do with all this anger that builds up from my frustrations at work? Do I walk it off?

Being angry then turning the anger into positive action seems to help a lot.

I must not contain the anger that work builds up in me, but harness it or manifest it. I can't afford to let it sit within me.

I must not tolerate inferior interfaces when better options are available, even if they have an adoption cost/learning curve.

It's difficult to follow a methodology. Sometimes I don't feel like doing something the same way I did the previous day. I feel the urgency and pressure coming from a different place. Nor do I have to follow a methodology. Whatever works for the day I need to work through is good enough.

I want to be able to resume work inside the space of 15 minutes. I've been taking around 1h30mins.

I know I enjoy a previledged position by being willing to investigate cases no one wants to. There's no competition, so I can take my own pace. I have issues accepting this.

I have to learn a lot about my customers before I feel like I can be productive.

Playing games during my lunch hour feels like a waste of time. Playing games in single-player overall feel like a waste of time.

This is insane. This customer is so bad.

I need something else to bounce my attention off of what I'm doing. Everytime it slows down, gets stuck, my mind wanders and I lose sight of what I'm doing. If I have something undemanding and not addictive on the side (like writing these notes), I can bounce between the two more effectively. Like a counter-weight for my mind.

Need to define a work method for this particular piece of crap.

  • Data checks must be done by SQL as much as possible.
  • Use the RTC client, the web client is a disaster.

Need to define my own method of working:

  • Ensure I understand the request well.
  • Identify what I don't know.
  • Identify what I need to do to know.
  • Iterate, iterate, iterate.