Thoughts 13-Oct-2023

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I was sick yesterday. Not enough rest, plus some kind of respiratory bug we all have here at home completely threw me down.

Came here to say something, but I forgot. Brain fog is pretty bad when I'm always alone. Or more detectable. It seems easier to follow a thread when in the company of others.

Hardcore gaming, while fun, is not a restful activity for the brain.

What are my restful activities?

  • They'll be fun, mostly effortless, healthy in good measure.
  • Reading.
  • Going for a walk.
  • Listening to music.
  • Introspection and movement.

I believe I need to find my vision. I will try to answer the following:

  1. If I could invent the future, what would I create for myself?
    1. I would have a job where progress would feel more engaging. My job would also get me to work regularly with people I respect.
       
  2. At the end of my life, what will be my greatest accomplishment?
    1. I will have raised a family of strong, independent, kind and loving people.
       
  3. What mission in life absolutely inspires me?
    1. Raising and strengthening myself and my family.
       
  4. What is my burning passion, what am I truly passionate about?
    1. Computer games.
       
  5. What work do I find absorbing, engaging and truly enjoy?
    1. Building something with code and be at a point of autonomy and flow.
       
  6. How will my work, career or business enable me to live those dreams?
    1. By getting paid I will provide for my family, and give me access to the options necessary to find learning experiences.
       
  7. What would my ideal or perfect day look like?
    1. I would have inspired my son through my work.
       
  8. If someone were to describe me, what words would I want them to use?
    1. Smart, dependable, kind, strong, fun, original.
       
  9. If I had a magic wand and could change any one thing about my life, what would I change?
    1. The way I value myself.
       
  10. If I knew failure wasn’t an option, what would I attempt to achieve or do with my life?
    1. Work a decent, dignified job, get paid and receive recognition for it from my peers.
       

My strategy:

  1. I will spend the rest of October and November learning this customer's system.
  2. I expect to be fluent in it by the beginning of December
  3. I will then decide if I move completely to Support or Consultancy

Success criteria for knowing the customer's system:

  • I can quickly understand where a problem is located, and access it swiftly. 
  • Investigation doesn't feel like a horrible hurdle to get around, but a series of steps to take in order to diffuse a situation. 
  • I can implement or expand simple features easily, and more complex ones with help. 

Where are my fangs? What am I aggressive about? What am I hunting? 

I think nothing much. There is a relatively small set of things I will fiercely protect, nourish and grow (my health, my family). If the home is all right, then my ambition is sated and the only thing keeping me moving is my curiosity. 

I am a defender and an explorer, not a conqueror nor a thief.

I feel like I need to have work inspirations - these might help me stay motivated.